And I can chew a lot. A LOT. But I’ve been thinking lately that maybe sometimes I bite off more than I can chew in regard to two different areas: my writing and weight loss.
I think my common problem here is that I look at how much I want to accomplish, and I see what an enormous goal I want to achieve, and I’m overwhelmed. So then I end up doing nothing.
That certainly gets me nowhere fast.
I see how much weight I have to lose, and think, “Crap. I can never do that.” But I did it once before, and since I gained it back, I feel like I failed. Failed myself, failed everyone who praised and supported me. Especially myself. It is the same with my writing. I look at what I want to ultimately accomplish: I want to tell these great stories I have running around in my head, and I want people to love those stories enough to make me an auto-buy on their favorite author list. I want to be successful, the kind of author who can write a 100,000 word novel a year, eventually even two, and be successful. Here, too, I’ve been looking toward the end of the road, what I want to accomplish, as I said, **eventually.** Again, I feel like since I’ve written 4 manuscripts and have yet to get beyond the form-letter rejection, I feel like I have failed.
The problem with MY eventually, I ‘m beginning to see, is I want results, and I want them RIGHT NOW, dammit.
I was reading an article tonight about 7 Deadly Sins in the Workplace , and under “Greed” it read:
4. Greed
An employee’s selfish desire for “more, sooner” is what motivates many workers. While these folks may do well in the moment, they won’t be prepared to take things to the next level, McKee warns.
The sin: “Taking this notion to the extreme can and will be self-defeating as core values become misguided and life becomes unbalanced in the process.” The salvation: “The road to success requires a long-term approach in all aspects of one’s job duties. Those laser-focused on quick, short-term gains may do well in the moment, but will be ill-prepared to take things to the next level.”
Um, wow. I think that this is one of those times that God puts things in front of me for a purpose, because it seems to fit what I’m talking about. I’m being greedy. I never looked at it that way before. I would actually say just about every item in that article I could take to heart. You might want to have a look at it yourselves!
Besides, they’re right. If I get all I want NOW, I won’t have learned what I need to know in the future to deal with the success I yearn for.
The time I lost all that weight to my ideal size, for instance, was on a crash diet. Dr. supervised, but still, what else would you call an 800 calorie a day diet? When I quit applying the crash part, and went back to “real” life, I ballooned out quicker than a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade character. I hadn’t taken the time to learn the tools and discipline to make my success permanent.
even·tu·al·ly
Function: adverb
: at an unspecified later time : in the end
Reviewing this definition, I need to remember that as different events progress, I will get to where I want to be. I remind myself that I should look at both issues in smaller chunks, baby steps to make it to the ultimate result I want. Forget about where I want to be, and focus on where I can go right now.
For instance, and I hate to publicize this, but oh well, I am beginning Weight Watchers tomorrow. Again. I’ve been often enough to know that although they determine what a healthy weight for you is, they only focus on a certain amount at a time. Their theory, if I remember right, is supposed to keep members from focusing on that whole total amount thing.
As far as writing goes, I’ve had success when creating and selling my short stories to the confession market. And pretty quickly, too. Maybe I should start doing this again, and then also work on books with shorter word counts and shop them around.
I have to make the decision about how I want to live my life. Because what I’m doing now, as Dr. Phil would say, isn’t working for me. I’m unhealthy, and unhappy with the status of my dayjob, and my writing. Or non-writing, I should say.
And I’m the only one that can change it.
Well, Fall is here. My favorite time of year. My FAVORITE. Here in the Texas Panhandle, you can tell it’s approaching, even when the temps are still flirting with the 90 degree mark. The subtle change of sunlight, that certain scent floating on the breeze . . . as long as it isn’t from the feedlot, that is. Some fondly refer to that familiar stench as the ’smell of money,’ considering it, along with helium, oil, horse-flesh and various cash crops, make our world go ’round. Ah, yes. I guess I must admit, there is even a difference in the smell of Eau de Cattle this time of year. 
